Life lesson, just because you have some things in common, does not necessarily mean you are compatible. A loafer and a stiletto have something in common, they are both shoes, but they are not necessarily compatible. We have to look beyond common and find compatible. I think most of us long for a loving lasting relationship. Some of us already have that gift and that is truly a blessing. There have been some wonderful relationships that have blossomed in ways that no one could imagine. The face of relationships has changed especially during a pandemic season.
Physical distancing has limited the traditional dating environment. However, is that such a bad thing? Some relationships are beginning to blossom virtually. How can that happen you may say? There is something to be said for a relationship that develops in the absence of the physical aspect. The foundation of the relationship begins with conversation, communication! Imagine that! Now I’m not trying to get to graphic or personal but let’s just consider the possibilities. You meet someone of interest on a dating website and you begin to converse back and forth. It almost forces you to talk about things you may not necessarily talk about during the traditional means of dating. And that is not a bad thing at all! Let’s face it, the traditional means of dating often winds up getting physical pre-maturely which is where, many times, the problem lies and is often the reason the relationship ends abruptly. Once the starry-eyed phase settles and reality sets, one wakes up the morning after and realizes they have nothing in common nor are they compatible! Now what?!
What if all you could do was to talk, talk. To have conversations day in and day out. Getting to know each other. Inside and out. Talking about everything from your favorite television show to your religious and political beliefs. The pet peeve stuff like which way do you put the toilet paper on the roll. Believe it our not, that has been a source of major contention in some relationships! How does he or she handle finances? Speaking of which? Can we talk about credit scores? Are children a consideration? What about blended families? You love dogs as pets. He loves iguanas as pets! The iguana has a heart attack over the anxiety of co-existing with a dog who salivates at the sight of the iguana! Are you a morning person, is your significant other a morning person? Or not? Think of all the little things that irk you. The things that you will not compromise on. The things where you may say “well that’s just the way I am!” Take that times two! I could be wrong, but it seems like you all have a lot to discuss before you can cross the threshold of any kind of permanent or physical connection. You see where I’m going with this? Now some may say it doesn’t take all of that. And for some it doesn’t. If that is the case, we all have our preferences, go forth and prosper in yours. But I’m talking to those who desire that genuine bond. I can’t count the number of times; I have heard from couples who have been married less than a year and are already at each other because of the “I didn’t know he did that!” or “I didn’t know she was like that!”
The foundation of a lasting relationship needs open, honest, unconditional communication. The foundation of a last relationship means accepting the other person for who they are. If that can’t occur, then perhaps that is not a compatible match. Compatible means that like a pair of shoes, you fit together, work together, move in the same direction together. Like a pair of shoes, you do have something in common, but you are also compatible. Yes, I know, you are not going to learn everything about each other in the dating phase. But I think we often do not take enough time to learn all we can.
Common, compatible, communication, commitment, valuable components for a lasting and loving relationship. Best wishes to all and embrace the journey to your lifelong relationship, with your matching shoe!
I am Paula G Voice! I am a sagacious independent lifestyle influencer. I am embracing my own journey and sharing experiences along the way. I am challenging dreamers to do the same by breathing life into their deferred dreams and living out the reality! It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dreams! Visit Paula’s Blog at www.paulagvoice.com for the full journey.
Mindset Question:
What are some things you feel you need to consider when starting new relationships?
Lesson Learned:
The difference between common vs compatible and why both are important.
Wisdom Challenge:
Step back and take a look at what needs to be at the core your relationship in order to achieve longevity.