It is always such a wonderful experience to chat with couples who have been together for decades, 30, 40, and some even 60 years! How do two people stay together that long? The two common reasons mentioned are their faith and communication. Faith in God and the belief that keeps Him at the center of the relationship sets the foundation for longevity. There is a verse in the Bible that speaks to a three-strand cord that is not easily broken. If you braid three strands, the result is one strong stand that cannot be severed. Many of these couples start and end their day in prayer…together! Many of these couples have agreed to not go to bed angry. Now this has also resulted in some sleepless nights as they work to resolve whatever the issue is on the table! They all say it is worth losing a little sleep for the sake of their marriage. How many relationships might have been saved if more couples made that same vow? To not lay their heads on the pillow until conflicts are resolved. When two human beings come together as one, their will be disagreements and conflicts. The love for each other and the relationship has to be the driving force in doing what it takes to overcome the obstacles.
Then there is communication! This is the close second to faith. Couples have shared how they give each other the space to express their feelings about a particular matter. Couples have shared how they have allowed each other to share their experiences that have caused them to respond or react a certain way. Sometimes the response or reaction is a result of some life trauma or experience. A wife has a traumatic experience in her childhood. The husband makes a gesture that he thinks shows how much he loves his wife. However, that same gesture triggers some past traumatic experience in the wife and therefore her response to his kindness is negative. Once he understands the reason behind her reaction, he is compassionate and chooses another path to show his love. A husband internalizes certain feelings based on his past experiences. The wife feels as though he does not communicate with her, or she may interpret it has him not loving her. Both scenarios are far from the truth. Again, once he reveals what or why he internalizes, the wife can then meet him at a point that is comfortable and reassuring to him.
This is not rocket science. Just the genuine desire to meet each other at a point of transparency and grow into being each other’s safe space which is a beautiful space to be in. Faith and communication, two ingredients that, when mixed together properly, can lead to decades of a loving relationship.
I am Lady Wisdom! A sagacious lifestyle influencer, embracing my journey! Sharing experiences along the way! Challenging dreamers! It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dreams!