Now before you all get excited, I am no expert on this subject matter. I could probably use a few pointers myself. However, I do have some observations and hopefully, some of you that more expert than I, can offer some insight. How do you do this in your winter season of life? This dating concept? The dating world has changed SOOO much since my initial encounters 4 decades ago. That in itself is depressing! LoL. I’m just kidding but you all get my gist!
4 decades ago, we were both young, starting out fresh, the world and life lay ahead of us (not behind us). I think we allowed each other certain graces because we were both embarking on this journey with the intent of creating a life together. Oh, I’m sorry, we are talking about dating. Yes, dating 4 decades ago was a pre-requisite to marriage. You didn’t just date! You dated with the intent of heading down the aisle. Now, dating is just dating, you date…. just to date….no real destination…or is there? Do you all see my dilemma? It begs the question, what is the point of dating if you are not going anywhere with it? Now some have said you date for the companionship. Ok, I can see that. So, you just date for the companionship and you put a hold on your emotions and not let the person in your head, you are just dating to have someone to “hang out with?” I’m not judging! I’m just asking? Where do we go with this?
I find it so interesting that over time, certain aspects of our social interactions change. The labels change, how they are defined change, the societal perceptions change. It all changes! And now, to top it all off, you are no longer dating someone in their spring with life ahead of them, you both have most of your years behind you. You both come to the table perhaps a divorcee (in some instances a few times over), or widower. You both come to the table, possibly with multiple children that could range in age from children to adult. Yes, children because some may have chosen to have children later in life. You both potentially come to the table with grandchildren. You both come to the table potentially “set in my ways!” I think my head is starting to hurt!
SOOO how do you navigate this winter season of dating? Nope! I do not have the 3,5, or 10 steps on how to do it. I’m just asking the question.
Many winter seasons couples have found great joy in a union during this season. In some instances, it has been the greatest joy of their lives! I think there is something to be said for that because that tells me that both parties have learned the lessons from past relationships and have moved forward demonstrating the lessons learned. That is a beautiful place to be! Now I can hear some of you (I think)! “Yeah, I put in the work and the new significant other is reaping all the benefits!” Did you all see “Acrimony?” Ok, that may have been a bit much BUT you understand the underlying message. We all learn from our past relationships; we don’t always have to see them in a negative light because most of us have emerged stronger and more solid. Most of us have emerged with the freedom of forgiveness. Now let me park it here for a minute. Forgiveness has to be the first step in opening the door and preparing oneself for the possibility of a new relationship. If unforgiveness is carried into a new relationship, that relationship will be poisoned by the unforgiving element. We often hear that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for us. Many, many times the other person has moved on, and are not even carrying the memory of what they did or didn’t do! They have moved on with their life! Now I know I started this with I am not an expert and indeed I am not. But one thing I do know, work on the forgiveness before dating becomes a factor. Who knows, you may find your greatest love that you will ever encounter. I hope so.
I am Paula G Voice! I am a sagacious independent lifestyle influencer. I am embracing my own journey and sharing experiences along the way. I am challenging dreamers to do the same by breathing life into their deferred dreams and living out the reality! It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dreams! Visit Paula’s Blog at www.paulagvoice.com for the full journey.
What are your thoughts on the aspects of dating?
As times change and as our seasons in life change, our outlook on relationships changes.
We are given intuition for a reason, use it!