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Respect vs Security

Men need respect, women need security. Imagine how beautiful our relationships could be if we could meet each other’s need, respectively. If we could meet each other’s need in a balanced manner. Imagine! How have we not been able to do that? Why are our relationships in such peril? I don’t have all the answers, I just ask that we consider the following:


When a man does not receive respect, his response can manifest in a number of ways, one of which could be anger. The anger comes out in a tone. The woman interprets the tone and is hurt or upset by the anger or the tone, the words that are projected from his mouth. A man’s ability to provide is basic. A man’s ability to protect is basic. When he is not able to do these two things that define him as a man and therefore, render respect, he is in turmoil. When a woman can show a man genuine unconditional respect, that speaks volumes! When she can encourage him, build him up, and be that vessel from which he draws strength, he develops the power to conquer the obstacles that prevent him from providing and protecting what is his. He is able to be victorious!


Sometimes women tend to go overboard in this area. Security can manifest into being labeled a “gold digger.” In some instances, women can be gold diggers. However, sometimes this is a label given to a woman who is just seeking that security. Security comes in different ways. Financial security, emotional security, physical security. When a woman feels financially, physically, and emotionally secure, she is able to then embrace a lasting relationship with a man.

Why do we seem to get this so wrong and how can we begin the journey to building last relationships? A few suggestions:

We each have to understand the needs of the other. We have to have the wisdom and discernment to know what is needed in order to give our partner the respect or security needed.

Ladies, we have to know what to say and when to say it and how to say it or even if we should say it! Sometimes there is wisdom in silence! Sometimes we just have to say a silent prayer and ask God to lead and guide that man. Then we have to trust God to steer him in the right direction. Showing a man appreciation can go a long way. Now you may wonder why you need to show appreciation for things you feel he should do anyway. Why? Because it doesn’t cost you anything to do so and you may be very pleasantly surprised by his response.

Gentlemen, a woman’s basic need is to feel secure. She just needs to know that you will always do your best to make sure she is safe with you physically. Even in your angriest moment, she is safe. Even when there is a bump in the night, you have it covered, she is safe. She can trust you with her emotions, she is safe. She can trust you to keep a roof over your heads. She has a home. Not granted, some women do take this one a bit far. Demanding a lifestyle beyond the financial capacity of the household is a bit much. A mansion is not a standard need but a comfortable safe home in which to raise a family is something that will also make her feel safe. Respect, ladies, let’s show it daily along with a side of gratitude and appreciation.

Security, gentlemen! Let her know that with you, she is in the safest place in the world. If we can meet each other at the intersection of Respect Ridge Rd and Safety Street SE, what a beautiful place for a couple to reside. Now if you are reading or listening to this and you say to yourself, that her or she does not deserve respect or safety…. well…that’s a topic for another day.

I am Paula G Voice! I am a sagacious independent lifestyle influencer. I am embracing my own journey and sharing experiences along the way. I am challenging dreamers to do the same by breathing life into their deferred dreams and living out the reality! It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dreams! Visit Paula’s Blog at for the full journey.

Mindset Question:

How can you show satisfy the need for respect or security in your mate?

Lesson Learned:

When we can communicate to our mate their basic nee

d, we have set the foundation for abundant possibilities.

Wisdom Challenge:

Commit to a weekly check in with each other.

How are you meeting his need for respect?

How are you meeting her need for security?

Make the appropriate adjustments to meet each other’s need and embrace the journey.

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